AsPire To InSpiRe... BefoRe U eXpire...

Why am i not Rich...

Monday, April 28, 2008

This post was actually part of another post, but i thought why not just extract it out... and put it as a seperate one, since this is so long too...

So.. just to explain why i'm not rich... and that i'm actually quite broke...

People tend to think that i'm very rich because i have been so hardworking, teaching tuitions... But this is a job that doesn't give any passive income, so, i work, i earn, i don't work, i don't earn. In good times, i can earn up to 4k a month, but often is that. And if that 4k were to come, i assure u that the months following that 4k-month, will be about 1-2.5 months of... less than $500... And most of the time in a year, tuition goes on for an average of about 7.5 months each year, taking into account, the non-examination period, school holiday, misc. holidays and student sick, i sick, unable to fix a time for lesson due to other unforeseen changes/ events. Being a student+ Part time student as well, i do have limited time for tuition.

Giving myself an income of 2K each month(for 7.5 months= 15k) from tuition, and spreading them over an entire year, i draw an average of salary = 1.25K each month.

This amount have to cover for all my food and expenses over the month, cos i haven't been taking any allowance since 2004? perhaps. There are times when extra money is spent due to gifts... Buying computer and etc. In these 4 years, my few biggest expenses are 1. Fujitsu laptop, 2. Lenovo Computer, 3. Driving lesson (half paid for by my mum), 4. Handphones, 5. Gifts!!

So.. u know why i'm broke now??

~AuRo`Na~
Monday, April 28, 2008

What's there for me...

Alright.. NTU exams is over...
Of my four years in NTU, i've never felt so kancheong after an exam before...

I took a total of 4 examinable module thie semester.
First was Engineers and Society. This module concentrate on principle/ Moral/ Ethics and politics in Singapore.
I have a boyfriend who graduated from NUS. And from all the comments that he made, ober times when he sees me studying and doing my assignments. It has always been... " NUS don't have this...", " Your content seems good hor... Like very interesting..."

I'm very glad that i've chosen NTU (Not Too Useful) over NUS (Not Useful Still)...

My school life is almost over, 1+ more week to go. Get over and done with my FYP presentation and.... I'll be a free lady... Free from studying...

Firstly, i would like to express my regret, for not studying hard enough in NTU...

I had always thought that.. i won't excel, not in most of the things i do. Not because i don't try hard enough. But i have belief that there is a cap for what each individual can perform. And... I sorta know where my cap is, and that's also the point in which i should stop putting in extra effort in hope to make things happen... Because that's what we call in Economics - Diminishing Returns...
Have returns, but not worth the effort kinda thing.

I spent a lot of my time in University, doing other things... things other than studying, joining clubs and researching... haha...

Rather i spent most of my time teaching tuition, learning other things...

In year 1/2 i attempted joining some clubs in sch, but my ex tend to always stop me, and hinder everything i do. All because he come from a scholar family with a family line of generals and scholars; they take deep consideration into studies. And one thing he said that is quite true is " U are here in Uni to study... What? XXX club can get u ur jobs meh?"

Which i think what he says does make sense.
Ken was an active individual in uni, but his results weren't that great. And of course if he could turn back time, he would have spent more time into studying and not wooing girls(me) that perhaps could/could not have been the cause for failing a final semester module.

Back to the topic about MY studies..
Tonight is my final module exam for PR, and my graduation assignment is due on 5th May, in partial fulfillment of a Diploma in PR and Mass Communication. Well, i would say the handwork is worth it.

So by July, i'm hopefully a Bachelor (Hon) grad in Bioenginner and a Diploma Grad in PR and Mass Comm. I might have felt tired, too many times this year. But i didn't break down and cry, but just floating through the whole year...

I'm rather amaze by the number of modules i took in my entire time in NTU.. haha.. i just make a counting... and it's 55!!! modules in all... Wow!! that has to be rather amazing... Supposedly this is almost the highest number of modules students should be taking. Reason being, I'm from NTU, and NTU student do take more modules than NUS, Secondly, i'm from Bioengineering, so even within NTU itself, the number of modules is crazy!! Thirdly, i took a minor! so it's extra few modules... Hah!

Okok... will post smth later.. now gtg rush out.. tuition.. so that i can earn my diving lesson fees... Update more tonight....

Labels: BioE, NTU

~AuRo`Na~
Monday, April 28, 2008

The devil wears a prada!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I can be a doctor... but i can own a doctor bag!! Tada everyone!!! this is my new bag... the Doctor bag from Prada.. i have this leather tag thing... can u give me idea what i can put there?

Hm.. need something a little classy.. and... a little bit of this.. and a little bit of that...

Poor poor ken.. have to buy this for me.. heh... thanks!!! *mucks!*

anyway... the Detail is really very good... better than some of those branded stuffs around...
The leather smell good.. the dust bag is soft... think can just put a pillow and use the dust bag as a pillow case....
the inside of the bag is real good...
Why Prada as oppose to others?

Because.. i find some brands too... too.. publicised!! and too well like by too many people.. then it feels a little too ordinary...

I will get those brands soon.. sometime.. but just not now... i love this start of the branded spree with a Prada... Because I am a devil! So i wear a Prada! haha!!

The way the bag opens... is.. wow.. good... i like the style...
Even the bottom of the bag.. there is this 4 metal thing that let's it stand.. PRADA is engraved on it...
this is quality...

I like the nylon thing.. just for Prada. Makes Prada more special... But i can't deny that.. Prada has ugly bags as well.. opps....

Haha... well.. i'm glad.. happy for now...

Will have to study in a while... 24 hour to next paper... and... hm... not studied anything till now...

will soon be planning the Bali trip soon... will go scuba diving n etc... $ will be flying out of my pocket...

Hoping for the confirmation of my position as a research and stock analyst~!!!!

And... will plan for the ShenZhen trip as well.. heh. going with NTU prof... for a conference.. feels good...

Labels: Mattel Inc.

~AuRo`Na~
Tuesday, April 22, 2008

22 April 2008

Just a little note...
What i have from now.. till.......... Maybe when i start work!!

23rd April = Financial Institution exam
25th April = Nano technology
28th April = PR FINAL module exams + Assignment due dates
5th May = PR Graduation project due
8th May = FYP Poster presentation hm...

Once over...
Assuming everything pass!
And.. i'm an official Bachelorette!!
Heh... Bachelor in BioEngineering (Hon.) & Diploma graduate in PR and Mass Communication!!!

This year... is a tough year for me...
Having gone through a lot of shit with Ken...
Things are really seemingly getting a lot better...
Over the past whole year... There were many mood swings were i was often upset and aimless, especially in those holiday times...
Not knowing what to do...

It's like... i'm reaching a cross road... A junction that... the turn i take more of less decide, and also path out my future...

thoughts like... 'what i wanna do in the future?' often make me feel angry because i'm basically a jack of all trades and a master of none! There seems to be nothing i'm really very passionate about.

In my younger days when choosing for secondary sch, JC and even Uni course... I often had to stand at a junction, struggle... Think through and cry and wail and be so upset... just trying to squeeze out an answer- an answer of what do i want.. what do i like?

Many people who are smart are given the talent and priviledge to pursue something that they like... or just that something that they are good at... People who may not be that lucky, they are driven by the need for money and they work hard and ultimately reaching somewhere... Some people who are not as lucky... Will be satisfied with the things that is offered to them... A route that is paved for them...

But i felt unlucky.. because I'm not too lousy... yet.. i'm not good enough in many aspect that I've learnt... Like in Music, i have a grade 8, and may complete my diploma. But i have no talent it in.. like.. a friend, Zixiang... he was the top MEP student in Dunman, just looking at him play the keyboard, piano is enough to memorizes many girls...

I don't have passion like Lynn, who gave up her Cambridge law scholarship just to study medicine in Singapore....

I'm just a simple girl... no talent... not good enough...

Now i'm at the cross road again... But this time.. this decision is really a major one... what to choose.. where to go... what to do...

I've somehow decided....
Not that i have already been offered... but these choices were diversified enough for me to think through what kinda life style.. standards and what i really, or... rather.. not say really.. but.. to eliminate what i do not want... heh...

#1. A 18 mth research and stock analyst leading on to a trading job.

#2. A teaching associate in a polytechnic
#3. Financial Advisor
#4. Funding Manager with A*Star Biomedical Council
#5. Biomedical Sales Rep

Well, i chosen #1! heh... I see that it can give me the best prospect...
Hm... feeling nausea now... shall rest.. will come back soon.. for more....

Labels: career, Mattel Inc.

~AuRo`Na~
Tuesday, April 22, 2008

It's really haunting... they are werid... crazy!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Ken kept asking me last night... "how are they affecting u..."

I replied to him many times.. that the thought of them are enough to make me feel paranoid...
And if given a choice i don't even wanna acknowledge them as my parent-in-law...

this might not sound right... but ur mum's stuffs is making me go berserk!!!

I had a dream that my mum is going to suffer from dementia... and i told her.. i need to get her some medication... and she asked if it's really necessary....

I said to her.. YES YES YES YES YES!!! in a very frantic manner.... And... I said to her. That if she doesn't eat her medicine.. she will go crazy.. And.. she'll be like Ken's mother.... She's Crazy!! It's very irritating and it's very mentally draining....

Now i wake up feeling so tensed up... my heart is still beating so fast... And i find it difficult to concentrate on my exams...

Please... leave ur mother away from me... I really can't take it...

I feel so paranoid.. i feel so... like.. mentally tortured... and i feel so... i can't describe... but.. it's really somthing that.. is haunting... the way they behave, his mum, his dad... All.. they things that they do, the lives that they seems to be destroying.. me, ken, J, Serene... is that all??

I really starting to hate them more each day...
And... they are really like ghost... haunting me... even in my dreams....

~AuRo`Na~
Thursday, April 10, 2008