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Somwhere over the rainbow

Thursday, December 28, 2006

okok! off goes the pink colour template!

i don't like it! it's too sweet for me.. so transition is over.. i've already decided to use this template.. i can't find the black one! damn!

Anyway... all the old blogs are still in their pink colour.. unless i have the mood to change it.. else.. u will most likely not be able to view them anymore... And for those photos posted.. i will not resize them as well.. unless i'm super free.... maybe soon la.. depends on mood... so... i think only quek read the last blog.... heh... haiz...

So.. i present to u..

somewhere over the rainbow!!

but the html title is still the same.. i can't bear with it... heh...

~AuRo`Na~
Thursday, December 28, 2006

Pink is a little too sweet

i know.. i know.. i know.. this is disaster.. i'll be changing skin.. shit. still love my old one. deleted it by mistake.. soon sooon. it will be.. *pissed*

~AuRo`Na~
Thursday, December 28, 2006

2nd year anniversary

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

I was logging in.. and as far as i could remember, the last time i saw the number of entry in my blog. It was only 141! now it's 220+. WOW! heh... see my failing memory is acting on me...

Anyway... I feel that tonight is a freaky night. I was watching TV, and there was this pilot show that shows every weekday night from 10-11pm at channel U. If u all caught that episode. Yishan was so upset over yunzhi's death that she hallucinated that Yunzhi was around the house. Before that, on my way home, i thought i should take a break from Ken, for many reasons...

There was a direct bus from AMK back hm, but instead the other bus can first and i took it to transfer bus in front of Bowen Secondary School. There was this very big 'death note' that talk about how people will wish to die at hm and that they provided that service. U can check it out at the hospice website. I took a photo of the note and i took time to finish reading the whole passage. I felt soothing after that.

I don't know why, but i felt uneasy after watching the tv show, i didn't get to hear from Ken more about 5 hours. And i don't know why but i got worried... I decided to pop by at his place. As i walked down... along this path that leads to the carpark. I smelt Dunhill man fragrance... The fragrance that my brother has been using and now it became one that Ken is also using. I felt freaked out and especially worried that something might have happened to Ken... I walked fast and got more worried. Reaching his house then i found out that he wasn't home the whole night...

Well, my supposed reason was to take my laptop... and stuffs.. and so i did. As i was picking up my stuffs, his mum came to asked if i needed a bag. So i thought yeah a bag is good and i don't need her to give me some plastic bag cos Ken has some nice paper bags and stuffs in his drawer. And so i decided to take them myself.

I open the drawer and was searching for the bags and i saw this very long transparent container with many stars in it... I remembered once Ken told me what ZX had given him for present and i remember that was one of those. And as much as my memory can afford to store, i remember that he said he had dumped everything from her away. I took up some of the paper bags and i saw more items... and one of it say" 2nd year anniversary". It was the first half of the year that Ken told me ZX wants to meet to pass him things that he had given her as she doesnt' wanna have any memory of them anymore... And Ken once told me that he had thrown them all away...

But why are they still there?

I have no doubts about how nice Ken has been to me.

But that doesn't mean that i can't feel uneasy. And i feel upset and uneasy for some reasons that i cannot express. I feel that i need time alone, time away from him. I think i need time alone to sort out certain thoughts and emotions... I'm not sure if i should ignore his call or just tell him that i need time or just leave things as they are and find time on my own... I shall think about it...

~AuRo`Na~
Wednesday, December 27, 2006

My christmas present this year... From Ken...

Sunday, December 24, 2006

The most admirable part of this christmas present is not the tree itself.. it's his effort in making the tree done...

This tree is decorated with chocolates and candy... mostly from the Ferrero range! There's the mon cheri one.. the one that has the alcohol and a cherry in it!

This man here in the picture below, carried a tree almost as tall as him, across the road to my house! can u imagine his effort... I have to say i'm most touched by this!He always look stupid for me... The "Ken Loves Elena" at Sentosa and all the running for buses... And walking around with bouquet of flowers and big and small bags... He really dotes on me...

So here is my first flower arrangement from him.. The XMAS tree!!!!

This tree looks wonderful when it is dark!

Looks so much better with a good camera!!

~AuRo`Na~
Sunday, December 24, 2006

Charlize says: I don't have many best friends...

Friday, December 22, 2006

This is a conversation between me and Charlize... stole from her blog...

Titled: I don't have many best friends...

Elena says:
Any suggestions for my mum's xmas preset?

Charlize. says:
diamonds are the girls' best friend

Elena says:
my mum have many..

Elena says:
haha. she got lots of best friend..

Charlize. says:
-_-

~AuRo`Na~
Friday, December 22, 2006

It's winter time!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

It's december! I love year end...

During the year end.. there's the Sales... Christmas... and WINTER!!!!

Singapore's version of Winter!!!

yeah.. weather is great... so good.. so love year end.. my rm feels like aircon room all the time!!! wow!!!
haha.
and it's time to bring out clothes that you normally do not wear the whole year round... so....

Pink x'mas?!?

or White x'mas?!

Recently i'm so into blending drinks.. so here it it.. the home made Ice-blended mocha! with whip toppings and a hersey dark chocolate kiss! with syrup!! yummilicious!!! MUACKS! great!!!

Me, my ken n my creation!

~AuRo`Na~
Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Dream..

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Interesting dream i had.. maybe it due to the constant bluffing that ken does to dominate my bed! He has been saying things like.. i wanna go over to your place and keep u company.. u go bathe.. i put u to bed, then i go hm...

Ended up: He's on my bed, i'm on the floor! urgh!!!

I had an interesting dream.. of a holiday that was not so much of a holiday afterall.. it was an ADVENTURE! I shan't tell anything about the dream cos there's just so much detail to tell off.. it's not a normal dream, the sea that we are sailing on is so different.. with all the geographical description, i think i won't be able to finish till tml... IT was amazing imagination!! wooohoo.... perfect for a new movie.. but i can't write it out.. i can only describe it... anyway.. i dream of my grandmother.. and she can drive.. never in my life have i seen my grandma drive.. but then.. wahaha.. she drove la... heh.. maybe she had learnt driving under my granddad's supervision... heh... or maybe it's cheaper to learn driving and insurance is free.. since everyone is dead!

~AuRo`Na~
Thursday, December 07, 2006

redefined...

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The way my relationship with Ken has been redefined. And i don't know what's the new definition... How to treat him the usual way? How to be happy again? How does he expect me to talk to him? When Yes! there are things that he did for me and etc. But it always ended up with " That's the way i like to do things... " It's not that that's wrong. there is nothing wrong. But what's the point of talking? When in the end, it's always that?!

~AuRo`Na~
Tuesday, December 05, 2006

An audition...

Sunday, December 03, 2006

This tuesday... i have an audition at the NTU School of Communication and Information aka SCI... heh...

It's a short flim as i was informed and that i'm suppose to act as a sweet baby and that it's a sad story named " Suicide Symphony"... Interesting...

Anyway... why i would have even gotten tat lobang.. cos... I'm suppose to be an UAN artiste.. but since the day i was with them.. i have never gotten a call from them.. and there was this PC show this year.. i met a friend.. He was someone i know of since secondary school from tuition class whom every girl termed as the handsome guy.. he's tall hunky... cos of the CCA he was in.. good looking and was considered our Mrs Cheng's favourite ba... then.. he approached me during the PC show that i was working at... and actually sort of like " spotted " me... so.. he came up to me... I didn't wait for him to talk to me but instead.. i started talking to him first.. at the time when he first walked towards me.. heh.. i said:" u look familiar" then i realise.. " oh u r jackson.. heh.. from Mrs Cheng's tuition" Surprisingly he remembered me too.. and he know that i'm from UAN.. cos just nice.. he wanted to ask me to join UAN...

Now.. long story heh.. and u got nothing out from there... well.. now.. how come i was in UAN... Because i was the hall queen for my hall... and why was i the hall queen.. cos i was so much slimmer 2 years ago.. before the hall camp... and why was i slimmer.. cos i was sick.. and upset during that period of time.. heh... so... thanks to that.. i got the hall queen title.. then again.. apart from that reason.. the more obvious reason is that.. my hall.. girls.. um... u knwo that.. even i can win.. *sigh* not that big an achievement la... okok.. anyway.. me and ken and my mum.. we're on the slimming spree.. heh....

okok... then.. after the queen title.. i was offered the so call contract with UAN where i had to go down one day to have them take my measurements... my booblines... waistline.. which has obviously... increase.... and my weight.. my height.. and blah blah blah... so.... they have my contact.. and i'm going for an audition...

I only hope for them to like my big eyes... though not very very big.. i'll put on some make up on that day... and then.. hope that they will like me... and what else... please do not be too concern with my thighs.. i'll wear long pants that day as well.. and.. way else... hm... i should start picking nice casual clothes for that day... and... hm... should i tell them that i've got brazilian done.. so that perhaps it can increase my chance on getting in?! hm... else.. to let them know that i can endure pain and hardship?!

~AuRo`Na~
Sunday, December 03, 2006

How to go on from here?!

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Yeah!!! Celebration! it's the end of the exams...

Shit! Damn... I have some issues with Ken, but i do not know how to solve it... shan't say everything out, because people who don't know me.. or choose not to or watever will think that there's nothing wrong with the things that he do... and that will choose to think i may be too superficial or etc... Which i certainly don't need that from others...

I just don't know where to carry on from here with Ken... So what if he treats me well? So what if he pampers me.. I can't move on with him if he cannot make me feel that there are dreams and aspiration that we can head towards to together! I can't move on with him, if in the slightly, simplest things that he do i can't feel secure about it.

Ah... please help me... In different aspect of treatment, he is super good to me.. a super good boyfriend who's always there patiently listening to me... He always says he's mesmorise with me.. head over heels and stuffs... So is that why he's always good patiently good to me?!

I used to have more faith in relationships... then till after CK, came Ken and i realise that to maintain relationship is very difficult.. especially when u have to learn to be nice... I think my hormones may be fluctuating again to the level of "i love no one and i'm fine with it" again...

Time with Ken wasn't easy and the time when i start being nice to him came crap from him... His personality sometimes make me realise why his ex, zhixian can't feel secure... then again, sometimes i wonder how can one doesn't feel secure with Ken...

She broke up with him and i thought it's a good choice, since she doesn't feel good with him anymore... I thought relationships that has turned sour is no use having repair... People nowadays don't have that strong enough faith to carry on...

I don't have faith.. so the way i treat Ken sometimes sucks.. and i apologise about it...

I like the Ken whom i always hold up high.. whom i always thought he's superior.. smarter, more capable and more handsomer....

Then i realise that men... not jsut him.. i'm talking with regards to most men that i've been around with and stuffs.. and these MEn.. or rather almost most men... are terrible creatures! They think they are so damn smart... and so damn capable.. and so damn handsome.. which in due time.. u will then realise that they are not that good afterall.. hm... so sad right.......

I want to go away... and that's what i wanted to do since years back... but Ken doesn't think he can.. and wants me to hold it for 10 years! he has the life that he wanna lead.. but so do i.. How do we compromise and how to hold back? Life is very different for us definitely since we are 2 different individuals... we have different views and hence when we want things we want it differently. More so with the different way of upbringing... argh.. Shit!

~AuRo`Na~
Saturday, December 02, 2006