Ken = Monster, if i marry him, my child= DEVIL!!!
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Yest, Ken and i had quite abig commotion which started from nothing in fact.
I was ridiculous to make some remarks.. and i have to apologise for those crap that i gave him...
But he was heartless.. i thought to myself that when he said all those things despite the headache i have was really overboard!
The headache i had made me feel like crashing my head and banging it to the wall. The headache i got due to his ignorance, which i may have brought it upon myself was so bad... i hated him so much and i thought i never wanted this guy as my boyfriend...
I always have headahe.. since 3+ years back...
I had a headache which was so bad.. that i felt my head was exploding... Not the usual headache... I do have headache sometimes. But never once in my life i had a headache that was killing me.. this is the worst headache i've ever had in my life.
Even though i had a bad headache.. he continue4 lecturing me.. thinking that he was super right... But since noon, i didn't really want to talk to him... cos today just like women.. he is having his 'mood swing'.. He wasn't in the mood to talk nicely.. to be nice to me.. so today all content was him.. and all himself... There may be things which i wanted to say but i wil keep it within myself.. as today he's just too self-centered.. nothing matters to him but only hismself.. perhaps it's because his patience is reached and threshold.. BUt i'm no that a stupid women.. so i know that today is not the day to talk......
Anyway.. he lectured me.. telling me.. how i tested his patience.. and how overboard i am.. knowing that this is not the right time to talk... i SHUT up.. and said nothing.... My head was bursting.. and he sat right beside me, not understanding that this is not the right time to say anything to me.. as it's too terrible for me... not emotionally.. but physically, i'm unwell, i was nausea.. and just feeling awful..
I feel the blood rushing to my head. As though all blood consolidate in the brain. No one wouild understand how bad this kinda headache is... Only CK can...
I hated ken so badly, and badly in me.. i hope for CK to be around... just for the functional purpose to help me get rid of the headache. He alwayts know how to get rid of it.. afterall, we once got together because of headache..
And after the incident in a chat that Ken and i had, he also had the thought of calling CK, cos he knows that he is good at it.. the headache.. but refuse to do so for man's ego.. if he had did that.. i'd have love him more.. hm.......
But after telling Ken about the bad headache i had... hI told him i don't need a hug after allk these shit... but just a persistant head masssage.. An di believe that this is the longest head massage he has ever given me...
Finally.. the night ended with him massaging my head.. for me to fall asleep.. and then he slept on the floor... *kinda sweet*
Some afterthoughts...
Ken is a monster.. that's what i've been telling him today.. the whole day... That i'd never expect him to sit there stationary.. and not do anything.. to help.. but tell me that he can be emotionless too.. at times.. though not all the time...
I was shocked.. stunned.. i understnad that people have temper too.. but not that someone obviously is unwell.... anyway.. it's over...
I have trouble typing the whole thing out.. as ithe emotions for that incident had long been used up.. and i can't write essay for nuts...
Ken has beemn dropping hair recently.. so.. he said.. " Next time.. u better make sure our childern had hair!!" I said: " i think it's more impt to make sure that our childern is not a devil!"
Ken is nice when his frustration is used up.. he'll talk to me nicely.. and be nice.. But i've never cried so hard and have such a bad headache before.. i doin't know if this is good.. that i have a great boyfriend who bothers to pamper and admit mistake.. and give me shit once in a while...
Will post up somethin he did for me.. which is very nice.. in another entry.. together with some photos.. yeap yeap.. it's time to put in some photos.. again.. my blog is super shor tof photo...
Just to put this down.. as a reminder.. so that i have no choice.. but to post!! haha...........
*to remind myself: to post an entry to dinner at original SIN!!!!!!*
~AuRo`Na~
Sunday, November 19, 2006