I know where my heart lies...
i try to get it back to where it lies...
Only to know that perhaps.. i ruin it on my own...
Perhaps i shouldn't question too much and just move on... carry on...
let it be... where by we'll all be someone with someone new...
And when we should all be happy... Will you be happy knowing that there's this someone you love out in the world.. yet you can't be with him/her?!
I slept crying and i woke up too often only to realise that i care so much... like in the past...
Then i thought too...
Even if we got back together.. will things be the same and be sweet like in the past?!
afterall... i'm the one who got close to other people...
"Karma" is the thing he kept emphasizing yesterday night...
From yesterday... i realise that... yes... i'm loved... but in different ways... i don't know what ways.. but... i was told i'll be loved...
He said that i didn't think about him when i went out all the time till late night...
He said that i didn't think about him when i'm out with other people...
He said that i didn't care...
He said that i said i've moved on...
Have i?!
All along i was wondering if this is another phase that i'll go through in my relationship with him... That this is just a passing phase... That after this... i'll be his angel again...
These few days... i realise that.. yeap... it is indeed the passing phase...
But now... i suppose this passing will give the whole thing a pass...
I asked... " am i the only one who thinks of getting back now?!"
And the reply was positive... Indeed i might create a lot of commotion and talking behind his, our back if we really get back...
I think perhaps... i took too long to think of being back together with him... And now... i miss the chance...
I'm feeling lost... upset and i can't smile... to know that he'll be going out with girls soon...
Is this a typical case whereby i've lost... then i know how to cherish?!
Will i be happier?! with him?! without him?!
Do you think we'll just be friends?! or rather... do u think we should just be friends?!
afterall he has changed... he'll never be the same person i've been with...
Why people always like to say things that they don't mean it?!
Why so people have to love and lost.. then they'll cherish?!
Why people must sometime learn through the hard way..
I feel tired... after yesterday...
Why is it that people love to gossip so much that it makes things so difficult now?!
Why is it that i do things without thinking of the consequences... why?! why ?! why?!
I love him... and i'm feeling terrible...
I hope if he doesn't want to get back with me.. he'll tell me soon... so that i can let go better... and live on... carry on... start to love those who deserve to be loved...
~AuRo`Na~
Tuesday, February 07, 2006