AsPire To InSpiRe... BefoRe U eXpire...

what should i do?

Friday, June 03, 2005

He is back to me now... Thinking back...
Indeed during that time, he was just feeling stressed up...
But i can't help feeling that he's a selfish man... Very...

Thhis morning woke up early.. had my bitch sleeping over at my house last night...
I had to go to school.. so woke up very early... to prepare and head to my bf's place for him to fetch me to sch...

There he was... like as though nothing has happened for the past few weeks...
There he was... like as though i shouldn't have cried and wail and worried too much for the last few weeks...
There he was... like as though i was an idiot...
There he was... like as though i have to entertain him..
There he was...

I felt pretty upset when i'm with him these few days.. thought still some gladness too...
I'm so much happy than i am, i was for the past 3/4 weeks.. ever since all those shit started...
Even though i'm upset about my grandmother's condition... With him around.. it really lighten up my day a lot...

Yesterday night i was talking to him... I was asking if he still likes me... he kept very quiet... Finally... i said.. the other time.. when we were talking face to face.. u nodded ur head.. so this time.. u just tell me yes or no.. he replied" then i nod my head now lor!"
It felt just so good...

I feel so lost without him...
He's now very much into the habit of saying things that will spite me... trigger my emotions.. like things that suggests that he doesn't want to talk to me... call me or anything like that....
I wonder if that's the influence he gets from being around with guys?

He's quite nice today... to me... being nice to me.. and my family.. haven't had a huggiez from him... a smuacks from him... and dinner with him...
We went to the airport to fetch my dad... Had BK dinner... and starbucks coffee...
Went to see my grandma... Hm... old women already... Pretty upset...

Called him just now... wanted to accompany him home.. but perhaps... for today... he has had too much of me... doesnt' wanna talk to me anymore... Didn't pick up his phone call... i Think he has reached hm by now... but.. he has yet to call me... Haiz...

His temper is getting from bad to worse... Being around guys... for too long a time... makes somone forget how to treat a girl as a girl... make a person forget how to treat a gf.. as a gf...

I wonder how he loves me now? like the way his dad loves his mum?! well.. perhaps.. a chip off the old block!

I'll carry on... until the day.. i can't take it anymore... That will be the end... if i have the strength and love... maybe it'll be a lifetime!? who knows... i don't!

~AuRo`Na~
Friday, June 03, 2005