AsPire To InSpiRe... BefoRe U eXpire...

u think u know me well?

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

I'm not the kinda very typical girls.. people think i am...

I'm not open minded...
I'm not impatient...
I'm not a "many a lot'...

I don't have the determination like many girls to go on diet... to make themselves pretty... i will never tire myself like spending time polishing my nails... to look pretty... to stay pretty... and things like that... i used to put in effort to slim down... but more often than not.. it happens after a break up.. and when i was in secondary 2...

I went on diet to make myself.. slimmer.. seem more beautiful than usual.. to tell the guy that i'm living a better life... than i used to... I go on diet... cos i got sick... by being very upset... emotionally... Well, those are very very harmful ways of slimming down... but they are often the more efficient way and fastest way to see the results... I ended up.. being much happier.. and appitite increase and... then... poom! i'm back to the old fat self again....

1 year 8 months plus ago... i found myself a new boyfriend.. who combs his hair.. longer than the time... i need to wash up and get dress.... And he's always very image concious... for a guy's standard la... In many ways... i got influenced... then again... often.. i can't be bothered to look good.. cos i deem it as a totally unnecessary thing to do... Then again... he always complain that i complain too much about looking fat and yet does nothing to myself...

people around u... u'll notice they always tells u that u look gd? How true?
There are actually 2 kinds of girls which tells u that u look gd...
1st- bitches... or in other words.. more of a slut... They tell you that u look gd... so that in actually fact.. they hope u nver go slim down.. or try to look better.. so that they can gradually become better looking than you...
2nd- friends... real gd people.. real gd friends around you... They tell you that u look gd... cos in their eyes, you are always gd... better than other people... You may be fat... but in their eyes.. the goodness that you have actually cover up for the fact that you look fat! Otherwise... these women reall think that they look fat themselve... that in them.. all they can see is that they are fat.. and nothing else... get it?! baby?!

I feel so demoralised... i'm fat... or at least i know i am... people who are close to me.. knows that i have big thighs.. and they are really very big... I bet it has already become cellulite.. and i doubt being every possible to get rid of the.. i wonder liposuction is the only solution?!

Anyway... it doesn't help by having a bf who has ex gf who are pretty... petite.. and whatever things u r not... and it surely doesn't help at all... having a bf who's that VAIN!? to the ultimate?! he should be part of the Incredibles... being... THE VAIN!?

~AuRo`Na~
Wednesday, December 29, 2004