AsPire To InSpiRe... BefoRe U eXpire...

Love... like we never will again...

Friday, December 31, 2004

Something i took from Victor's bloggy without his consent.. i hope he don't mind...

In any relationship, there are three parties, yupz, you got that right, not two but three parties.who are they?they are "Me", "You" and "We". In a fight between couples, "Me" and "You" often get so involved in defending ourselves that they are in danger of endangering "we".

Think about what happens in a bad fight:You start seeing each other as adversary. You lose touch with your own feelings of love or caring for each other. Then you become less willing to share your innermost deepest feelings. You withhold infomation and dig in, becoming even more regid. You begin to see each other in an exagarated, stereotyped way. In every way, it is "we" who suffers silently and ultimately The cardinal principle that underlines everything else is " Protect your Relationship even while in Conflict".

The simple truth is that when you are going to have more arguments you are going to have more fights. The real question is not whether you will "fight" but rather "how well". "Fighting well" means fighting in such a way that protects the long term relationship., even though you may be very unhappy with the other party right now.

We fight precisely cuz we care, if the other party did not matter to us, a dispute would not rouse the antagonism that produces a fight. One or both party would simply walk away from the situation simply cuz it wasnt worth the effort.

But we often lose touch with the sense of caring during a fight. We forgot that we still have a "home base" to protect. That is the reason why we have to make a commitment to ourselves, and to the relationship, during the times when we are not in conflict. The time to make agreements to protect is when you are in touch with how much you care, how much the relationship means to both of you.

Put some deep consideration into relationships you have with people... In any sort of relationship... parental, siblings, there's always a 'we'.

Relationships are what makes the world goes round.
Relationships are what makes the world a better place to live in...
Relationships are what people on their death bed live on and struggle for...

People come and go in our lives... some still exists... while others... leave your life... leaving footprints so deep that no waves can wash them away...

Yesterday met a HIHS senior of mine-Xueyi, we talked about the people whom we knew who have left us for good...

Eugene- Joyce's brother, someone whom i knew since seven... Samuel a guy whom i thought was always a little slow but tried to make friends with me... Ms Neo, once a NIE trainee teacher who had lost of fun...

Yesterday again, in the afternoon, Shifu called and told me about Slyvester's death... He's someone whom i got to know when i first go for thai boxing training... One who believe that i have the stamina to train up for a triathlon... he wanted me to be part of their team... in competition... He was the one who invited me for an All-style martial arts competition... I can remmeber the time i firt saw his tattoo... and how i got a shocked when he told me he's 32 2 years ago... He still owe me a meal...

Uncle Keng Huat passed away on 15th December 2000... I was with him the last 30 days... The kind of hurt his family experience... i know...

Jason, he wanted to meet up with me... but i didn't want too.. though we were neaer enough... Both in orchard... a week after that... he passed away... on a bicycle... he got ran over by a lorry... I went to his wake... in the coffin, i saw a streak of tears...

Just got a call from my mum, she was at the hospital ICU visiting a friend... He's in critical condition...

Life is fragile...
Please my dear friend please take care... be nice to yourself... be nice to others... Sometimes... it maybe true that time's up... and we have to go... But please always be cautious... take care of ur body... Those on the road... especially those on the bike... it sometimes may not be you... it make be someone else... but you'll be the one who'll be hurt...

In the tsunami... we have indeed no choice for that's what we call "tian yi"... Perhaps.... it's just a smaller version of wiping out the earth's population... like in Noah's Ark... or... that's call cleansing the world of sin or whatever...

Love each other like we've never love before... Love one another like we have no tomorrow to love...

~AuRo`Na~
Friday, December 31, 2004