AsPire To InSpiRe... BefoRe U eXpire...

Big... BiG... DilEmMa....

Friday, October 15, 2004

Ah.. somebody please help me.. i'm in a very bad situation... I love my hall people, and i wanna stay in thie hall very very very badly... But, there are somethings which i don't really have a say in, about my life, that is... I wanna be in the FOC 2005 for hall #13.. very badly, but i've stopped CK from joining the FOC for UOC next year. the reason is not that i'm selfish in a way... but rather, i can't go through the same torture i had this year.. The way i felt for like few months, just becos of going to the UOC, i'm so hurt that i hate it and i want nothing to do with it.. neither do i want him to so with it... But Hall #13 people are nice.. and people from my OG are definitely the best.. just went to celebrate Benedict's birthday and feel so good with all those people around.. they are just so fun.. it's so good to get to know more of these hall #13 people... hm... Maybe i should go talk to CK, moreover, next year, when he go for his attachment, i need all these hall people for company... and that.. good company... i suppose... And i don't wanna move hall, i don't wanna move to a hall where people are not nice.. and i need to get to know new people again... i mean.. i'm giving him respect too.. that, by asking him for "permission"... yeah? anyway, it's only 4 days... and i'll promise to call him.. promise to look up on him whenever i'm free?!?! hm... i really love this hall, this is the place where i hang out, in the most unhappy time in my life after he was in UOC... Ben... Jack... Daphane... JX... TK... ah.. all of them.. help me through these period of time.. i love all these people... And, well, i think i have to tell him how much i don wanna change a hall... the reasons for wanting to be part of the hall camp.. and be frank... and that.. if he still want to be in the UOC, i have nothing to say.. cos i feel that it's not about being fair.. but rather being.. treated well... I've been missing all those part of my hall stuffs.. and i don't wish to miss anymore.. moreover, Jack promise to back me up.. and excuse me from all those preparation work... and... well, i need the points too.. and having fun.. plus.. the points... haha.. gd choice.. i hope i get it.. without making him upset... without making other people upset... yeah?!?! indeed it's ok to travel with CK back and fro school.. but it's not easy for me, when i'm alone in school... They are a bunch of friends whom i don't want to miss out.. and we very much like to be in a group.. or at least i think so la....

I love my Baby.. but i very much wanna be here.. in Hall #13 too...

Oh yeah.. a very big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to BENEDICT!!!!! *smuacks*

~AuRo`Na~
Friday, October 15, 2004

paranoid roomie......

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Sucky... i have a damn bloody paranoid roomie... i being here for more than 4 months.. have just a few mosquito bites.. and she.. just step in for like a day or 2... claims to be an insect loving sweet little girls. that all the insects flock to here like bees to honey?!?! what the F***!!! She damn bloody paranoid lor... Stays int he vacuum.. yesterday raining so heavy.. then not even a single drop of rain gets into the room then she ask em to keep the curtains closed... so that when it rains.. the CPU wont get ^DROWN^... might as well sa that she better don't go to sleep just in case her own saliva might drown her CPU.. or perhaps.. may even drown HERSELF!!!what the hell.. i'm damn bloody pissed.. i'm gonna tell her how paranoid she is... living in a vacuum... and CPU getting drown.. and the stupid insects... i think sh'e the one who has a problem.. Don't look pretty.. don't look rich.. still wanna ack like da xiao jie!?!? what the hell.. i'm damn bloody pissed!?!!? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............... somebody please help me.. anyway.. she's not suppose to be here.. humph!??!

ookok. gd stuffs....
Me and CK 19th month anni.. that makes.. 1 year.... 7 months.. hm.. i like this font.. very nice.... anyway.. have been on good terms with him recently.. knows how to make him not get angry.. ahha.. just swallow a bit. and ask for the better.. and tat'll do the trick... hm.. went clubbing with him on friday night.. to SOS...Sultan of Swing.. hm.. love that feeling.. i think it's not that bad going clubbing with own boyfriend... At least.. nothing can go wrong.. right?!!? hha.. or.. hm.. nvm... Drank a lot.. a lot.. well, i love to drink.. i pissed him off.. cos i was drunk.. but i can still answer integration questions.. haha.. doesn't that pisses people off...

Today is Preston's birthday.. ahah happy birthday.. pussy!?!!!? my great guy friend from SRJC... ahha.. he has this thingy about coming to NTU and be one of the best students.. in terms of academia.. and sport... and ah.. whatvere.. i think he tok crap all the time la....

hm... studying studying.. studying.. that should be what i have to do.. cut whenever i'm home.. i choose to go slp.. slp through the whole weekend.. alamak.. this always happens at home la... Tml morning got stupid EP... stupid things.. really down right stupid.. anyway.. i'm tired.. haha.. going to sleep soon.. cos i have early lesson tomorrow morning la... and it'll be a long day.. mugging with CK... Desmond.. and S.P.... hm.... what else... wat else.. studies are difficult.. i can't so my tutorials!!!! please help!?!?!!?!?

Oh yeah.. Jingshunz made me cry today.. with the repeating mentioning of the N****.. don even wanna have that name written in my blog.. i just feel so damn bloody upset...

Yeah.. some girl tried to flirt with my bf in front of me... she sux!! plus.. she's a malaysian.. i never like malaysian.. tried to say i CUTE.. like i care?!!? shit man... haha... got no "fen chun".... flirt also don do it in front of other people's gf ma.. she dumb or IS SHE DUMB!!!?!?!!?!!?!!? stupid ger!!! she's not a bitch yet.. so i shan call her that....

nvm.. wish me luck in my studies... and wish me happiness.. yeah.. i really think i deserve happiness.. and loads of it... and wish the weather is gd for clothes drying.. i've to rewashed my clothes.. just cos it rained last night !#%%^^&&&^%$$.......

keep loving me...

~AuRo`Na~
Tuesday, October 12, 2004

for more viewing pleasure.. This is the other account i set up cos the other has reached it's limit la..... And this album got JY.. i'm sure he'l find these photos even nicer?!?!?!?!

http://community.webshots.com/user/imelenaljy

~AuRo`Na~
Monday, October 11, 2004

Photos... for viewing pleasure...

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Hm.... life has been great.. but then again.. it feels like... i have to put all faith in myself.... Don'w know when to believe and when not too.. makes me a very suspicious person.. and very skeptical.. at all times lor.. can't help it.. Help me... tell me who can i trust... i know i should trust him.. but then again.... hm.. i don't know... He has been my best friend... my companion.. and soul mate.. everything.... everyone is him...Please.. i wanna trust him with all my heart again.. i know it's not that difficult. i've done it before.. i can do it again...

Anyway, this is the link to see the photos.....

http://community.webshots.com/user/imelena

~AuRo`Na~
Thursday, October 07, 2004

It has been a long time....

Sunday, October 03, 2004

It has indeed been a long time stince i blog!!!! I don't remember having have such a long lag time before i blog once again.. let me see.. the previous time was.... hm.. last sunday.. now.. today is a saturday...

This week got to know a few goody people... like Vincent... don't know why.. but like him le.. think he's a very nice guy... and like his company... hahah. started calling him like brother like that... Very full of shit people.. and well, that's what i like about people.. like Jingshun too.. full of shit and full of crap... Had a very tough week start.. but wel, it gradually turn a lot better..

Relationship wise.. hm.. is better with CK.. he seems to realise how much he hurts me... and has been treating me a lot better... hope things will remain that way.. he's been sweet... or at least better... perhaps.. it is really true that.... "nan ren fan jian" that only when u start to ignore and treat them a little colder.. then they will be nicer to you.. or at least... taht's what my Shifu says..

Actually... now also very the not free... CK went to his da-jie's huose... to celebrate...her birthday.. and i'm at hm.. well, i think perhaps i've become more non-chalant.. or if not... then, i'm done with those kinda crap shit feelings... oh yeah.. whyt am i not there? cos his younger brother is there lor.. aiyah.. don't ask me why also. can't be bothered to say too much...

Anyway.. have a lot of things to do... Monday... Netball training... Tuesday...JAckass #2... Wednesday... Study.... Thursday... Study.... Friday... Study plus report... hahah.... Weel, actually found a new definition for this: UNIVERSITY== no life men!! ahahah....

Anyway.. a BIG THANK YOU! to VICTOR.. and my bitch JINGSHUNZ.. really thank them for being with me on sunday night.. so greatful.. i've in a way or another pissed JS off. but.. please.. forgive me... i really cherish ur kind of friendship.. crappy and candid..

Also.. Big thank you to my CK.. for being so sweet.. well, for now la don't knopw when u'll be cursed and swear at again...

Hm.. one thinki can't understand.. my mother stop calling me leh.... she always acall me once every 2 days.. but this week.. only called me on tuesday... then no more leh! i so sad. i waiting and waiting.. then don't have.. So sad... then today wanna comehome so much.. but then she gop out like only a while later... hm.....
Later going out with CK to eat yu pian mee fen!

Later i'll be heading back to the no life place! but i hope situation wioth him will be better.. if not remain the same please!!!!! cos.. his treatment towards me.. really affects me a great deal.. i can't help it.. but it does!! hm.. there's be a meeting tml night at 10pm... SIANZ...............

Oh yeah.. for the 4th time this month.. he ask the marriage question again.. what should i ans him?

~AuRo`Na~
Sunday, October 03, 2004