AsPire To InSpiRe... BefoRe U eXpire...

BeIN iN @ rElaTiOnShiP...

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Being in a relationship..
means that you both have to be committed...
Certain sacrifises has to be made...
And being together, means caring for each other...
Everyday...
Every Hour...
Every Minute...
Every Second...
You don't yearn for your own space...
But yearn for more time...
So that you can spend it meaningfully with the one you love, dearly...

~AuRo`Na~
Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Conversation...

Sunday, August 29, 2004

CK says:
hi dear... u reallie so unhappy izzit?

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
i'm ok la...

CK says:
u have just been complainin abt me lor... i think i reallie make a lousy bf... so if u want to sack me... just let me noe...

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
huh? u give up so easily?

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
oi... really wanna give up so easily?

CK says:
should have long ago...

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
why?

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
you really wanna give up?

CK says:
youso unhappy with me for so long liao... wat u want me to do...

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
i've not given up... and you want to?

CK says:
i failed miserably...................................

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
haven't i showered you with enought unconditional care, concern and love to make you want to do more things for me..

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
to be there for me and love me.. care for me?

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
you can bear you give up?

CK says:
i can't........

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
If i wanna sack you? you think i'd still bother to endure all those things that has happened since 12th july?

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
why not instead of making me so upset now.. and making me hold back my tears.. just because my mum is at hm... you would instead... swear that you'd treat me with love... assure me?

CK says:
i love you darling.......

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
I've not given up, and i believe there's nothing that we can't overcome, despite all the arguement that we had.. and we know that.. we're both no.1 in both heart... that nothing is too difficult for us... So, can't we just do things that will make the both of us. happy... be happy... make each other happy.. do things that is both meaningful and not hurting to each other....

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
Aren't i the most important person to you?

CK says:
yes'

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
i won't deny that you're most important to me..

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
there should be anything holding you back from being sweet.. sensitive and gd to me then..

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
so.. is there still any problem...

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
I don't need you to be perfect... but i do need to know that you're trying...

CK says:
got... i not in very goood mood these few days...

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
at least you're trying to talk to me now...

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
why? what's wrong?

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
studies?

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
family?

CK says:
no... got one cow ah... never kiss me...

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
orh....

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
so... are you still giving up?

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
or u willing to try.. and try hard?!

CK says:
dun talk to me like i am a child

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
u r lyk a child wen u ask for kiss lor..

~pause for more than 10 mintues...~

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
don't want to talk to me liao?

CK says:
no lah...

CK says:
y?

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
asking you ma..

CK says:
nothin

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
when u have something talk to me straight.. can? i don't want us to end up like "cyberstead"... can... i'm happy that you talk to me.. but i'd be much happier.. if you tell me things face to face...

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
there shouldn't be anything we can't telll each other about..

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
?

CK says:
I KNOW............

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
aye... not to get frustrated again ok...

CK says:
i consider..........

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
huh?

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
consider what?

CK says:
ur proposal...

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
*flower*?

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
*flower*?

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
*flower*?

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
*flower*?

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
*wilted flower*? "wo deng dao hua er ye xie liao"

CK says:
he he.... dun feel dat its funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
then hehe for what?

CK says:
cold laugh

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
fine?!

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
this photo.. not that nice. change another one la... i think there are nicer photos lor..

CK says:
like which one?

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
don't know le..

How iS iT pOsSiBle To fIx a pIeCe oF cRacKed Gl@sS?! WhAt MoRe iF iT's ShAtTeReD?!? says:
maybe the one.. in NO4.. u may not like that cos.. that's in uniform.. ut i think that one is quite

*do you people think that we're on gd terms already? frankly.. i don't know leh... i very blur... blurred by him... Don't know what's wrong.. just don't feel right...*

End of converstaion... cos i'm going off.. my brother need to use com to do work...

haha.. and jason's online.. so i'll stay a little longer.. haha

~AuRo`Na~
Sunday, August 29, 2004

CrAckEd gLass CanNoT bE fIxEd... WhAt MoRe SaY WheN iT hAs ShAtTeRed?!?!

TOld everything to Him... BuT? suRe he Does unDeRstaNd? hE aLmOst wAlk aWay FroM me? PromisSE nEva tO wAlK awAy wHen TheRe's a mIsuNderStandiNg... QuarRel... CoZ wEn u wAlk AwaY oNce.. u wAlk awAy twiCe... U waLk AwAy tHrIcE... AnD u'Ll nEvA tuRn bAck... Cos iT's eAsiEr tO wAlK aWay... ThaN To SoLve A ProblEm...

I BeT hE hAs nOt AnsWeR to My ReqUest... QuiT bEiNg InVolVed WiF UOC/2005... Ask Me Y? i DoN't KnOw...

I Hit HiM... ManY TiMes... AnD vErY haRd... On tHe Chest... AnD hE aLloWed mE to... VerY uPsEt ThAt i UsEd ViOleNce...

I hAd to VenT it OuT... And he'S my ObjeCt of ReSentmEnt... anD HatrEd... So? NoT hiT him!? TheN hiT mySlef? Then Am i StUpid or WhAt?

FinaLLy. Got EveryThinG oUt Of Me... But, WiLl iT mAke ThIngs Better? NOPE! uNlesS hE Do SoMeThIng fOr mE... ThIs tiMe... To CleAnse HimSelf frOm UOC...

Yes indeed in know him well enough.. and i understand him.. but can't expect me to be his stomach worm.. i need to be told.. need to be assured... Indeed.. i have faith and whatever in him.. but it doesn't change the fact that i've been disappointed..

was questioning why i'm still dwelling on matters htat happened in the camp...

But i told him....

"CrAckEd gLass CanNoT bE fIxEd... WhAt MoRe SaY WheN iT hAs ShAtTeRed?!?!"

Sometimes... it really does matter... how people look at things.. if say you are not bitchy.. but you potray yourself as a bitchy individual.. definitely.. everyone will see you as a bitch... so? it's yourself to blame....

I'm feeeling the resentment.. first time in my life... sadness has turned into resentment....*never b4 have i 'hated' someone.. and something in this manner b4...*

Good thing.. i used my fist.. imagine.. i gave the power of a tight slap.. what could be the outcome?

I asked: " why do you always question... -Why do you aways dwel on the past? -Why do you always feel this way? -Why don't you tell me what happened? -Why do you always like ot keep things to yourself? -Why do you even bother to feel this way.. n blah blah blah...

Ans: cos... i was hurt.. and you can't see how hurt i am... cos whenever i tell you something. my feelings have always been denied... so how should i tell you? how should i call and talk to you.. when i've been refused so many times.. in the past.. in the CAMP? Do you even have time for yourself?

Then why can't you question youself : "Why am i making you feel this way... Why is it that she refuse to tell me things..."

Told him: " Why is it that when things happen... it's always my fault.. when i say somehting. it's my fault... when i do something. it's my fault.. when you do or say something. it's also my fault.. when is it yours? Why is it that you have to make me feel like it's my fault.. when from the very start.. i know.. it's not my fault?!!?"

If he didn't quit UOC.. unless i can get over that resentment. and hatred... i'm not letting hin go for this once.. i won't forgive him...

Feels to me that he has become more buoya and cheeky... and it's irritating.. seeing his attitude and whatever... It maybe something that is hidden in him for so long.. or it's from Nigel.. his buddy.. someone whom he calls buddy.. it's irritating. aain... indeed someone can be your buddy.. but there's no need to go around saying.. hi bud.. bye bud...sucky... Not that i hate Nigel.. i think he's ok.. nice.. just don't like the influence he has on CK... Or rahter.. i hate the change and cheekiness in him.. it's DAMN BLOODY IRRITATING?!?!??!!

~AuRo`Na~
Sunday, August 29, 2004

LUrve...

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

People are weird...
When two people of competible weirdness come together... They form Mutual Weirdness call...
LOVE...

~AuRo`Na~
Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Pageant Photosss

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

This is the web to go to to view my pageant photos.. enjoy.. do pen comments??!!?!?!!

http://community.webshots.com/user/imelena

~AuRo`Na~
Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Life has been better since...... last wed? 18th August?!?!

Life has been better ... but... it ought to get better right.. i've been suffering for so long.. sometimes.. feel so irritated... by all the things that's going on.. irritating. disturbed man?~!?! ah...ANyway.. got hold of the pageant photos.. when Yurong sent it to me... according to her.. hm.. the pageant co-ordinator.. vivien and mingke don't like us. so don't want ot give us the CD.. in the end.. we have to spend so much time. transfering the photos... to each other.. irritating right...

Don't all these people know how to differentiate work from personal... Yucks....

so.. i've got hold of the pictures yesterday.. and have been very eager in loading them up to the net.... Saw Superman's hall photos.. hm.. not nice at all.. though my hall one not that gd. i think his is worse.. and he doesn't look gd in the photos too... *yiwei commented tat huh this kinda pattern also can be in pageant.. when he saw CK's photo.. haha.. funny.. without even looking at the photo carefully.. anyway. .he just can't link it ot those photos he saw in my room.. blur COCK*--joke of the day man...

With all those photos.. i can understand why. .Samuel.. gabriel can win.. he looks good in there.. but trust me.. in reality.. i'd have vote for CK man.. *not that he's my bf...*

when i uploaded those photos. i'm kinda selfish la.. uploaded only those that contains me.. WELL>.. co si think they really look very nice ma.. then.. will definitely get the rest of the photos up too la.. but must wait.. anyway. .i don't want those memories to fade.. well. not that they well.. but i want them in hardcopy.. pictures too... haha. this time round. got a free portfolio for nothing.............. BLEAHzzzz.....(wat jason always says to me)... haha... yeah... will post up the link in the blog soon. when i got eveything done... so people can view them.. yaya....

Anyway.. Ck has been in the mood for "I LOVE YOU" for me.. recently.. feel so loved.. but then again.. don't dare to hope too much.. you know la.. men-- will shun off.. will buzz off when they have enough of you.. or when they're sick of you?!?!?!?!

aNywayz.. do love him.. i do...

Will be going try out JuDo later. haha.. better not make a fool out of myself.. hahaahha...

getting happier...

~AuRo`Na~
Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Hey baby! Love ur pictures!~ They're so pretty!!! HEHE* Btw, JUDO??!?!! Gotta tell me more bout that... It should be interesting ya??? =) I think ah... gotta be aware of u. I think u can fight better now??? *dangerous*

Fernie
Tuesday, August 24, 2004 2:22:00 AM

hm... Judo.. went for 1X only.. see how.. cos gotta get points.. to stay hall. so that's one alternative.. to keep staying hall if i stay in the main committe.. haha. no adrenaline rush like thai boxing.. and karate.. but still not too bad la..

~AuRo`Na~
Saturday, August 28, 2004 9:26:00 AM

I'm Down...

Friday, August 20, 2004

Blueeii.. is the exact colour i'm feeling man... lost... no aim.. no direction in live.. can see what's the best in me.. can't see what i can give myself... can't see too many things... dressed to go for netball.. but don't like netball.. why am i making myself go for it... gonna go for judo training.. with yuanfeng soon.. not a bad idea... beating pple up is definitely more fun than anything else man... haiz... i hate life... i was just shedding tears... hm.. quietly.. i think tha's really a sign of being upset.. and lost...hm... later go play table tennis?!?! hm.... hm.. hm...

~AuRo`Na~
Friday, August 20, 2004

I'm a BlUe.. KoaLa

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Just did a test found on SiewFern's Page... here it is....

You are Blue Koala, who is extremely honest person, and will say things that come up in your mind straightly. (Sometimes.. this is bad know... may say the wrong thing at the wrong time)
You are also active and very cheerful.
You also possess feminine attraction and have distinguished atmosphere.
You are very popular, and tend to be with lots of people.
You value your friends too. (Having lots of friends.. means... touching people's life.. only on the surface.. where's all the real gd friends?)
But unlike your outlook, you don't like to loose and are a strong-minded person.
You possess strong will-power, and are independent enough to carry things out without getting the help of the others.
You have great creativity sense and are much talented in this.
You act simply, but you possess complicated inner emotions.
You may be thought little bit eccentric. (My own emotions and thoughts are very bothersome... they make me very upset.. i tend to love and hate... like and dislike.. enjoy but yet not enjoy... so wierd...)
You like to lead varied life, and try to change the atmosphere yourself too.
You can make quick decisions, and possess courage. (I like decisive pple)
You are well liked by both men and women. (Don't really think so)
You have great sense of instinct and can get right at the point of things. (Really hate it when i guess things right)
You can affect people as well.
You are very strict on money.
You will not go buying things on impulse.
Someone you love and your love life is what is most important to you in your life.
(I love my dear... That's why his emotions and actions and whatever affects me a lot... i got sick the other time.. and slimmed down.. and well.. couldn't slp for days and night...)
You possess great natural skill to manipulate men. (Cool.... i'd like to try out my skill)
You should not rush into marriage after a passionate love.

~AuRo`Na~
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

He's always too busy for me..

This is more like a diary for me than anything... He's always too busy for me.. yes indeed... always... i feel.. that.. and havn't failed to feel this way. since the very 1st day we enter NTU... that he's so much happier without me.. or rather being with his EVO group member from Union camp... and i think union camp sucks.. it's a totally sucky camp.. i hate it.. i hate the people in it... It's screw my life.. made me upset.. and gave me a terribly bad start for my life in NTU... i hate UNION!!! i jope UNION DAY is a superbly bad day for them.. if accident can happen.. that'll be too good than good man....women are evil.. don't mess with us... cos i rock.... even online.. he's talking to other people more than me.. phone bills are expensive.. screw man... i hate this.. i hate all these excuses.. i hate the way.. he took ne step back when i tried to talk to him.. i hate all the hurt and sorrows he has given to me.. i hate everything.. evern 50 yrs down the road.. i'm gonna hate all these.. cos he's hurt me more than enough.. more than i ever think one person can do to me.. it's a scar.. a hurt... a pain... without anesthetic.. i'm hurt.. i'm pierce.. i'm very very very... sad...

~AuRo`Na~
Tuesday, August 17, 2004

my new comfort zone...

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Today.. wenesday afternoon.. haha.. another relaxation time of the week.. always.. after wednesday morning... will be a super relasing time.. ask me why.. cos all the stupid 4 tutorials are on this mornign.. what the hack.. always feel damn stress on tuesday night.. especially when didn't get my tutorial done.. hm.. my bf is treating me better.. perhaps he can sense that i've been cursing and swearing about my luck... Relationship with the people in my hall are not that good anymore.. so sad... :(... not as good as in the past... didn't chat as much.. no laughter... getting boring... Wonder when will the cycle of my bf's depression.. and the not so like me period come by again... Miss him a lot all the time... Can anyone tell me why guys tend to avoid.. or even ignore.. girls who are attached?!!? what's wrong with chatting... having fun.. and laughing?!?!?

~AuRo`Na~
Thursday, August 12, 2004

Hall Queen... just a bimbo thingy....

Monday, August 09, 2004

After a while full almost 2 weeks of training.. walking.. tiring out and whatever.. finally it's over.. the hall #13 dinner and dance.... And well, i was annouced the hall queen... and my partner.. or course.. the most handsome guy around here.. is the hall King?!?! we.. apollo reign!?!?!?
Yeah... happy for me.. my whole family is... only my dummy bf still don't know that i'm the new hall queen... my acting is damn good.. maybe should be crowned the DRAMA Queen instead... muahahahah... Hm... this weekend.. spend with my family.. is such great fun.... perhaps.. it's the kind of different treatment i get.. my grandma made ginseng tea for me.. wah.. *touched*... my aunt drove me to the hotel...*touched*... and my US uncle and aunt got down the car.. to give me a good luck hug and kiss *touched^infinity* yeah.. the happiness only stays in momentarily... and yeah.. back to reality... wanted to float.. though it's not such a big matter.. well, it's the first time.. hahhah.. hm... When you are drunk you really tend to talk nonsense.... hm... saw weihong.. my sec friend.. in NEWSROOM BAR last sat.. after the DnD... Yeah.. students asking me out to play ball. . but no no.. can't make it.. too much things to do.. and too far away la.... tml.. daddy's gonna fly away... this sat.. is CK's pageant... and i'm so far away from my studies.. need to buck up.. wish me luck.. hope my life with books and notes are just as good as the PAGEANT... yeah!!!!!! HALL QUEEN?!?!?!!?!

~AuRo`Na~
Monday, August 09, 2004

2 weeks into school term..

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Today... only like after one week of proper lesson... and i'm totally shagged out.. alamak!?!?!?!! first week.. go zouk with the JCRC.. pple.. ben.. jack.. jx.. agnes.. and pple from hall #13... had so much fun.. playing a fool.. though something not that happy happened.. will tell you guys when i'm more free.. now i'm just too tired.. and full of complains... i'll be running for the JCRC main committee... the Business manager.... support me?!?!!?! With all make up lessons.. and whatever.. as usual.. jackass #2 told me that studies is important and stuffs.. and that hall stuffs are not.. and yet.. he's the one skpping lesson to go for the pageant stuffs.. and aiming to win it?!!? with all his heart.. lucky for me.. tml is the DnD.. that marks the end of my pageant.. but the beginning. of hall life.. the inter house games.. and JCRC... haha.. wanna be a good speaker.. pursuader?!?! get sponsors and stuffs.. haha... Not eanough slp for a damn damn damn long time.. wonder if will be going to malaysia on monday night.. that'll be when i return back to hall.. better remember to bring my passport?!!? if not.. malaysia.. trip.. down the drain.. anyway.. the 3.. jack.. johnny.. and ben are business student.. i shouldn't play so much with them right?!?!! engine is totally different from business.. alamak?!!?!!!?!? anyway.. i'm tired out.. and plus.. all the family activities.. it's the end of me. in NTU.. just don't ta bao?!?!!!?!!?!? alalmak?!!??! hall events are definitely important to me.. don't wanna spend time getting to know pple once agin.. and build relationship once again... and more importantly.. staying on the other side of the country.. that's the best option.. hm.. opportunity cost.. haha.. economics come into the picture.. ah.. i have a whole class of smart ass.. wish me gd luck for my pageant tml.... wish me gd night for tonight.. better be a gd night slp.. for tml pageant.. so that i'll look pretty man.... ahhahahhahaha....

~AuRo`Na~
Saturday, August 07, 2004

Hall life... My relationship... my family...

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

It has been a long time since i last saw my dad... He's working in china.. and comes back only once every few months... He's back today... and i'm in my hall.. not able to go home.. why.. cos i'm too stressed up... i can't go home... I need a hug.. very badly... NTU.. is it a good place to come to.. why is it that everything hasn't been good since the day i stepped into this school... My own relationship with superman... My uncle is back too... a time for the whole family to unite... but i'm away... very far away from them... an dit isn't helping since my bf is so near yet so far... in NTU.. but i seems to never get to see him... feel him.. talk to him... not when i need him... he's enjoying... having fun... throwing me all his frustration and stress... but i'm depending on my good buddy in sch for all those emotional support.. has he even forgot that... i'll always cry when my dad's hm.... and when my dad's leaving.. why didn't he even bother... I'm very stressed up.. no work is done.. don't understand what i'm studying... and my whole class is full of scholars... to add on.... first day in NTU camp.. and i fall sick... haiz... I want my daddy.. i want my bf...

crying... sobbing... i want a hug...

~AuRo`Na~
Wednesday, August 04, 2004